I paid little attention when Will Smith starred in the 2006 film The Pursuit of Happyness with his son, Jaden. It seemed harmless for a mega-star to show off his kid to the entire world. Similarly, I barely noticed when Willow Smith had a small role in 2007's I am Legend. Looking back on it, I realize that it was just the beginning, a few drops in the tidal wave of oppression known as "Will Smith's Progeny". I should have warned someone. I know, I know, I thought the same thing you're thinking right now: "Little Jaden and teeny Willow? No way, dude." But I swear to you, these two are poised to become our overlords, and I'm not sure that I welcome them.
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That's right, America. The Smith spawn are taking over our country one Hollywood remake and Billboard hit at a time. I'm sweating profusely as I write this. What else can they redo and remake? What other classics can be power-raped for their satisfaction? Check the following list of potential Smith remakes:
1.) Dirty Dancing - WHY?: We already know that Jaden Smith can dance, but what happens when brother and sister dance together?
2.) Chinatown - WHY?: Because the phrase "She's my sister AND my daughter" will take on a whole different meaning.
3.) The Dark Knight Rises - WHY?: Because it's not even out yet.
4.) The Passion of the Christ - WHY?: Because Jaden Smith as Black Jesus = A.) controversy B.) a 2-Disc DVD release that leads to C.) Mad amounts of money and D.) hearty lol's for all.
5.) Independence Day - WHY?: Because like father, like son...and daughter.
Honorable Mention: Lars Von Trier's Antichrist.
"God help us all." - Barack Obama, 2011.